So a little known fact, or is it a known little fact? A known little fact about Arcanarc Colony is that nothing green ever grows here. If it does then it has a hard time doing so. You see, this colony is a space habitat that is completely manmade. It is designed to last for one thousand and one years, completely unaltered, drifting in outer space indefinitely. It defies the laws of nature. Hell, the Uptowns are totally indifferent to the pull of gravity. These are entire city blocks on the high-end of Arcanarc, miles upon miles and billions of cubic meters of them floating in thin air as though they weighed little more than a feather. Speaking of feathers, a small ecosystem of birds is the most wildlife that this colony can sustain. They are confined to a “nature” reserve so they do not go “extinct”. And we aren’t even talking fancy, high maintenance birds like the peacock, the humming bird, the kingfisher eagle, the peregrine falcon, the red-tailed hawk, the cockatiel or the flamingo. We’re talking brown sparrows here people, common buzzards, owls, crows and vultures. It’s sad, really, if you think about it.
So what do we eat here on Arcanarc seeing as our colony cannot sustain large animals or plants? Like what is our source of nutrients you may be wondering? Not throwing shade or anything, but I hear that on Mainland Earth, shit is so real that they’re eating beef-flavoured cardboard and mud cakes down there. Thankfully, we are more fortunate here on Arcanarc. We eat algae. Coz if there’s one thing that grows in abundance on this manmade, galactic island it is algae. Micro-algae are a plentiful, renewable, natural source of protein, carbohydrates and antioxidants. But all that algae need to thrive are carbon dioxide, water and light energy. There is plenty of carbon dioxide and water produced through our human waste disposal system. Light energy is much harder to come by in outer space where the darkness is infinite. That’s why we have algae farms, pictured above. These dome-shaped, half-sunken structures are made of solar glass that concentrate light emitted from decaying stars, magnifying it thousands of times over.
It doesn’t hurt either that algae is the ultimate super food. It is gluten free, dairy free, sugar free and fat free. Since hydrocolloids or food expanding agents are used, just one table spoon of algae can feed an average family of four for a day. I once read a history book that described how you guys in the 21st Century use contraptions called stoves to cook food, from scratch – as in raw meat and vegetables chopped, diced, boiled and grilled into something edible. Never mind that cooking sounds like an awful lot of hard work, what about the health hazards associated with eating animal body parts? I don’t know but I think you’re better off eating cardboard and mud. As for us, we 3D print our meals. Our food printers come equipped with digital menus that are updated weekly by FoodGate, that is the corporation’s print-on-demand food and beverage department. All you have to do is select what you want for dinner from the menu, hit “Send” and the food printer prints your meal in the comfort of your own kitchen. I don’t know the exact science of it because, you know, I just live here, but I understand that FoodGate adds flavourants, vitamins and other supplements to the algae, and because the hydrocolloids are also gelling agents the resulting compound can be printed into the most intricate and delightful culinary designs imaginable – Shrimp Flambé anyone? If you don’t feel like shrimp flambé or anything on the menu for that week, maybe you just want a platter of spicy buffalo wings or something simple like that, you can just quickly run down to the supermarket and grab a food cartridge. Amicus humani generi, my friends!